


A Father's Love

by Bologna121



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Understanding Edward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 03:09:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13538424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bologna121/pseuds/Bologna121
Summary: Rosalie seeks out Carlisle for a much needed conversation





	A Father's Love

She noticed him watching her, staring at her in the moments he apparently didn't think she was paying attention. It unnerved her. Not so much because she was still afraid of him, but because she didn't know what his staring meant.

She knew he had eyes only for Esme, and that they were perfectly perfect together. His gaze wasn't lustful, or even curious, so she was certain he was not interested in her in that way.

It wasn't like the way Emmett looked at her either. His eyes were not full of wonder, passion, and adoration like her mate's. Everything about the way Emmett gazed at her screamed love, a love so fierce and desperate and needy (yet gentle) that no poet would do it justice. Carlisle's gaze was nothing close to this.

Nor was his gaze anything similar to the way Edward looked at her- a look caught somewhere between condescending, partially resentful, amused, and awe. But it was certainly…harder than the look sweet, loving gaze Esme always had when she looked at her daughter. Carlisle's look held something more intense, and she couldn't put a name to the emotion.

He didn't stare openly, of course. She only managed to catch it a handful of times. And the personal, face-to-face interactions between them were so sparse that she couldn't remember if he had that same look in his eyes then or not.

But the night before, she remembered so clearly catching him gazing at her. The whole family had been gathered in the sitting room. Esme had been sitting on the plush carpet at Carlisle's feet, stitching up one of Emmett's torn shirts with a soft smile on her face . Above her, Carlisle had a hand in her soft curls, gently playing with each strand as he reviewed some old medical journals. Edward had been composing softly at his piano, playfully swatting away Emmett's hands as he tried to throw his new brother off by pressing random keys. Emmett had stood behind him, laughing at his game, but hardly ever taking his eyes of Rosalie. She herself had been sitting at the window seat, staring at her flawless reflection in the moments when she wasn't swooning over Emmett and his adoring looks. She let out a laugh when Emmett succeeded in messing up Edward's tune, shaking her head in humor as her brother lunged at him and they began to tussle. Rosalie had turned toward Esme and Carlisle to see their reaction, and while Esme had her attention fully on her sons, she and Carlisle had locked eyes.

Something flashed in his eyes in the brief moment, and she frowned, not knowing what he was thinking. But he looked away before she could ask him anything, laughing at the boys and acting like nothing had happened between the, at all.

She wanted to know what his deal was.

As a general rule, Rosalie didn't talk to Cullen patriarch. She had resented him passionately the first few months after her change, but his soft, apologetic demeanor had made it impossible to stay mad at him. The way she saw it, he had truly thought he'd been saving her, doing her a favor. And how could she loathe a man full of enough compassion to save a vain, spoiled, and jaded creature like herself from a most terribly unjust fate? But despite her softened feelings concerning Carlisle, she did not yet feel comfortable talking to him on a personal level. She just didn't know what they would talk about. Rosalie would have felt bad about their lack of communication, but she held the assumption that perhaps he regretted changing her in the first place. He was probably ok with them not ever talking.

She could've asked Esme about it, but she may or may not have known the reason behind her husband's glances. Why make the investigative process more complicated than it had to be? She'd simply go ask Edward.

So earlier that morning she'd gone to her brother's room, knocking softly before she heard him call for her to enter. He looked up curiously from his book, probably wondering what in the world he'd done to make Rosalie willingly close herself up in the same room as him. She scoffed. Only he would think it a punishment to have to speak to her.

He'd laughed warmly at her thoughts. "You know that's not it, Rose." He'd grinned. ."I love talking to you. It's a pleasant change from you always shouting at me in your head." He patted the seat on the couch next to him and she'd complied, angling her body towards his and putting on a serious face.

"I need to know why Carlisle keeps looking at me."

Edward frowned. "I wasn't aware that he was…" But something in his voice clued her in to the fact that he was keeping something from her.

She pressed on, "Well he does. It's like he's studying me. That's it! Studying. Like I'm one of his patients or something." She pouted prettily and tugged one of her curls. "I want to know what he's thinking."

Her brother gave her a calculating look and then sighed. Reaching out one of his hands, he place it on top of one of hers, giving it a squeeze. Her eyes widened. As another general rule, Rosalie and Edward did not touch, and certainly not with affection. He gave her a small smile at that thought.

"You know I don't like to share other people's thoughts. I do not have that right," he began slowly. Rolling her eyes in impatience, she made to get up and leave, but he pulled her back down.

"Wait" he murmured, seemingly thinking over something in his mind. He pursed his lips before continuing. "Carlisle has his own reasoning for a lot of things. And he usually keeps them to himself. But if you just go to him and ask him, he'll be glad to share. Actually…I think he'd like for you to go talk to him. The two of you never really speak." He gave another smile, as well as another squeeze to her cold fingers.

So cryptic. So unhelpful. So classically Edward. Rosalie heaved a sigh and moved toward the door, knowing she could avoid talking to Carlisle no longer. Before she left, she heard Edward call to her.

"He loves you very much, you know. You're very special to him, even if he never says it out loud."

She never turned around to give him a response, but she gave his words great thought. Edward never lied, and he certainly knew Carlisle better than she ever would, which meant what he said was true. Carlisle must, in fact, care a great deal about her. But she couldn't for the life of her understand why. She'd been nothing but unpleasant and snide her first few months after being turned, and after yelling viciously at him a couple times in the beginning she was sure he'd begun to regret ever having come across her that fateful night. He allowed her to live in his house, and she knew it was his money that was paying for her beautiful dresses, shoes, and jewelry, but she'd always considered his "generosity" as his own way of buying her forgiveness. He'd changed Emmett for her, and helped her watch over him for those painful three days of the transformation, but they hardly spoke then, too.

How on earth could he love her? After three years together, he barely knew her and she barely knew him.

As she walked up the stairs to head to Carlisle's office, she remembered a conversation she'd had with Emmett a few months ago. They'd been lying side by side, full and satisfied after their hunt, and laughing over some of Emmett's memories of his human life.

"Yeah" he'd sighed with a big grin on his dimpled face," that's the kind of man my father was. He was always happy, always smiling. The family just wasn't the same without him after he died." His smile faltered. Hating to see him in pain, she remembered grabbing his hand and squeezing it tightly. The action was a milestone for them, as Rosalie still struggled with physical contact after what Royce had done. He'd realized that, and his smile widened again. "You would've liked him, Rosie. He would have loved you too."

She glanced away from his earnest eyes, focusing on a blade of grass next to their hands. "Emmett?" she began slowly. "How…What do you think of…this family?"

He looked puzzled by her question. "You mean the five of us? I love you all!" He propped himself up on his elbow, leaning closer to her. "Edward reminds me of my older brother back when in Tenessee. He was always so serious, really brainy, but fun to play around with. And he's great at giving advice about-"he glanced at her bashfully and she raised an eyebrow, "well he listens to me talk about you a lot, and I appreciate his patience. And Esme, she's the sweetest woman I've ever met. My own mom was really nice, but Esme…I don't know. She always makes me feel at home. And she never gets mad when I break stuff" he let out a loud laugh. "And you? Well," he moved his other hand to brush a stray curl off of her cheek, and she'd gasped at the contact. "You're my everything." He'd finished simply.

And now to ask what she'd wanted to know all along.

"What about Carlisle?"

He furrowed his brow as if in thought. "Carlisle? I don't know…he's." he struggled to find the words, and she thought for a brief moment they were on the same page concerning the vampire doctor. But then Emmett surprised her. "He's the greatest man I've ever met." He said fervently. "There's no one as patient, forgiving, and kind as him. My father was a great man, a fantastic dad, but even he wasn't as…compassionate as Carlisle." He nodded to himself before continuing, looking as if he was talking to himself now instead of her. "I feel like I can go to him for anything…and I do! I talk to him about his history, and he asks me about mine. I ask him about how he and Esme came to be, despite the fact that she was…well you know." He sent a fierce look her way, "I talk to him about you. A lot. And he listens."

"You talk about me a lot to other people, don't you?" she stated flatly, only half joking.

He shrugged unapologetically. "He likes to know how you're doing, likes to know if you're happy." He stated simply. Rosalie could get no more out of him after that, and they'd spent the rest of the afternoon lying together in comfortable silence.

That memory itself was pleasant enough, but remembering that Emmett had said he and Carlisle talked a lot together brought her back to her present state of confusion and impatience, fueling the emotions even more. He'd talked to Emmett, and Emmett had only been here a year? Why, he never sought her out to talk to her! How could he apparently care so much for her, and yet have so little to do with her?

Finally at the door to his office, she clenched her fists and knocked sharply.

"Come in" she heard him call pleasantly, and it only made her more angry. She flung the door open, ready to give him a piece of her mind, but stopped short when she saw Esme perched on the desk next to the chair where Carlisle was sitting. Carlisle gave her a curious look, and Esme smiled hugely and warmly at her.

"Hello dear! I haven't seen you all morning. Would you like to go out shopping with me later this evening? I'm afraid Emmett's going to need some more clothes, and you know I'll have to get them tailor made." She smiled fondly, thinking about her biggest son.

It was impossible to hold on to any sort of anger when Esme was looking at you look that. She gave her mother figure (because, truly, that's what Rosalie considered her) a gentle smile and nodded. "Of course I will, Esme."

The woman smiled again, clapping her hands daintily together in joy. "We'll make it a girls outing, then!" She blinked as if suddenly remembering that Rosalie didn't typically come to Carlisle's office to make small chat. She didn't come to Carlisle's office at all. "Oh, did you want something dear? I'm afraid I distracted you."

Rosalie took an unnecessary deep breath. "Oh…I just wanted to speak to Carlisle about something."

Carlisle, who hadn't looked at her again since she'd come in the room, glanced up in surprise at hearing his name. Esme blinked again, but swiftly moved from her spot on the desk. "Of course. I'll leave you two to talk then." She gave Carlisle a quick but sound kiss, and bestowed another on Rosalie's cheek as she walked out of the room, calling for Edward and Emmett to help her get something out of the attic.

The door shut behind her, and Rosalie shifted uncomfortably, having temporarily lost some of her angry momentum and not knowing how to proceed. Carlisle gave her a tight smile, though not unfriendly. "Is there something I can do for you, Rosalie?" He placed his hands together and looked at her politely.

There it was. The formal tone they took whenever they were forced to speak. So unlike how he talked to Edward and Emmett. It made her snap.

"Why do you keep looking at me?"

He blinked in surprise, but shifted his eyes away from her face. "I don't know what you me-"

"Don't lie to me, Carlisle!" She hissed, shocking herself with how furious her words came out.

He gave her a pained expression. "Rosalie, my dear-"

"And don't you dare call me that! You have no right. I'm not your dear. You don't even know me. You know nothing about me! And I know nothing about you either!" She had hoped she would come in here with enough composure to at least have a two-sided discussion with him, but at the moment she was too frustrated to even let him speak. She was going to tell him everything she thought about him then and there.

"You never speak to me. You never seem to have any desire to want to speak to me. And that's fine! But don't for one second sit there and throw out terms of endearment to me like you care. Because you don't. You can't! And I've certainly given you no reasons to care. So let's both be blatantly honest here." She gave him a hard look and saw that look in his eyes again. Only this time, the look was intensified. Now it was easier to put a name on it. He looked hurt, like he was in some sort of pain.

"You keep looking at me, when you don't think I'm paying attention. But I see it! It's like it hurts you to even look at me. Like my presence is a big, unwanted pain to you. Like…like you regret ever changing me, ever savi-"

"NO!" eyes widened in disbelief, he cut her off. "Rosalie that is not it!"

"THEN WHAT IS IT?" she pulled her hair in frustration. "Explain it to me! Because I cannot understand why you insist on keeping up the pretense that you want me around." In her fit of anger she'd lost all logic and rationale to her argument. Now she just wanted to rant, and she wanted to understand. "I'm vain. I'm selfish. I've treated you terribly. I'm cold hearted. I'm not pur-"

"Enough!" he commanded vehemently, standing so quickly he knocked over his chair. There was that look again. Why was he in so much pain?

"Then explain!" she seethed.

He stood staring at her fiercely. Then he moved his hand quickly toward her. Afraid he was going to strike her, Rosalie flinched and stepped back.

Another look, only this one was accompanied with a hint of irritation. Not at her, but at himself.

"I would never hurt you, Rosalie." He murmured in a broken voice.

She suddenly felt silly for even thinking that. Of course he wasn't going to hit her. This was Carlisle. And although he might have been lying to her about caring, she knew he would never harm her.

He reached out his hand to her again, this time more slowly. She allowed him to pull her toward the soft couch Esme had put in his office. He sat down close to her, closer than usual but not enough to make her uncomfortable. His lips were pursed, as if pondering how to continue this discussion. He looked older than he was at that moment. His eyebrows were furrowed and his golden eyes looked far away. A frown was etched in his lips. There was no smile now.

He opened his mouth slowly. "I have been looking at you Rosalie. I apologize if it has made you uncomfortable." He looked at her solemnly before continuing. "And the reason I keep looking at you is because…I worry for you."

She narrowed her eyes, not understanding. "Worry? What is there to be worried about?"

He chuckled without humor. "You're not happy. Emmett's changed you so much. Everyone can see that. Esme and Edward are so happy for the both of you, but to me, you still don't look happy. And that worries me. It…kills me, Rosalie, to see you so unhappy. I want the world for you. I want you to smile more, and laugh more care freely. I want you to stop being so afraid to open your heart to people. I want to stop blaming yourself for what happened that night." She opened her mouth to protest but he swiftly cut her off. "Do not deny it, my dear. Despite everything we've said to you, you still put the blame on yourself. And you should not. Ever." She could feel her face crumple in pain and reflexively began to wrap her arms around herself to hold herself together. He stopped her, and instead took her hands in his. Despite his cold skin, the contact felt warm. "You did nothing wrong" he whispered fervently.

"I killed them." They'd never talked about her revenge on Royce and his friends. She'd always wondered what he and Esme had been thinking the night she returned home in her slightly torn, stolen wedding dress.

He gave her a hard look. "Yes, you did. And as much as I hate the idea of any life being taken, you were owed your justice.

She blinked in surprise at his lack of rebuke. But she pressed on, determined to understand how he could still care about someone like her. "I yelled at you. Multiple times. I hated you."

He gave a deep, almost shuddering sigh. "I deserved it." He replied softly. "I, like your ex-fiancé, took your will of choice."

"You regret changing me?" she'd always suspected it, but she was surprised by how much it hurt to hear it said aloud.

"Never!"He squeezed her hands tighter, pulling her against him so that her head was against his chest. "I do not regret changing you. You are too important to this family…to me. I cannot imagine an existence without you now," he stated firmly.

It just didn't make sense to her. "I'm vain."

She could feel his silent laughter through his shirt. She also felt him run a hand through her hair, a move that before this strange moment would've made her flinch and scowl but now only felt comforting and loving.

"Well If I looked like you I'd be vain too" he laughed. She couldn't fight the smile that threatened to break on her face. "But you're more than your beauty. I see it."

She found herself confessing something she'd only admitted to Emmett. "Sometimes I don't like my reflection. Sometimes I think my looks are what…you know."

He held her tighter, if possible. "I understand. Please believe me."

She allowed him to continue holding her, relaxing peacefully in his arms. She liked the way it felt, being so close to him. It wasn't romantic like with Emmett or brotherly like with Edward. It was…paternal. Her human father had showered her with gifts galore, but she couldn't remember a time when he'd hugged her just because.

Rosalie heard Carlisle speaking to her again. "You must believe me, love. I care very much about you. I love you just as much as I love Edward and Emmett. If it were possible, I love you more because you're not them. They're my sons. I only have one daughter." His words were full of sincerity, and if she had the ability to cry she'd certainly be sobbing all over Carlisle's crisp white shirt.

She buried her head further into his chest, whispering so low she was surprised he could still hear her, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I should have sought you out and told you all of this sooner. I had no idea my not speaking to you was upsetting you so. I thought it was what you wanted." He pressed soft, lingering kiss to her hair, sighing into her curls.

She let out a breath of contentment.

Rosalie did not know how long they stayed like that. They talked together softly, laughing at some of Carlisle's adventures and discussing Emmett and how good he was for her. She stayed curled against him on that couch, and he kept a gently hand in her soft blonde curls, confessing he'd always wanted to hold her and comfort her like this whenever she'd looked upset.

This was the man she would go to when her heart was heavy. This was the man that hurt when she hurt, and would do everything in his power to comfort her. This was the man that would accept her, no matter how badly she messed up. This was the man that would walk her down the aisle when she finally married Emmett. This was the man who would love her unconditionally. And at that moment, as she snuggled deeper into his embrace, she knew she would always love him back the same way he loved her. This man was her father.

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2011 and still one of my favorites to write! Rosalie is just in need of a hug, ain't she? Let me know what you think :)


End file.
